<%@LANGUAGE="JAVASCRIPT" CODEPAGE="65001"%> Shut The Fuck Up Donny - Celebrating the legend of Celtics announcer and future Celtics color commentator donny marshall

Thank you Reggie Miller

Listening to Reggie Miller stumble through the recent Celtics games on TNT makes Donny Marshall's insights and timing look stellar by comparison. Thank you Reggie for letting us better see the potential in Donny Marshall. As each road game passes, Donny dribbles one step closer to his throne at the Future Voice of the Boston Celtics.

Can Donny Marshall make it as a Pro Golfer?

Our Experts Decide:

I sure the fuck hope so! If I have to hear one more fictional 3rd party narrative of what the fuck Donny Marshall thinks a player was saying inside his head on a play that's already over, I'll puncture my ears with a toothpick!"
- Stu Betcha, Local Gambler

"For Christ's Sake, without Tommy Heinsohn announcing from the road, who's gonna complain all game long that the refs are fucking us? Tommy getting ripshit about foul shot discrepancies puts Donny Marshall's coy reluctance to criticize anyone to shame."
- Don Whitman, Area Drunk

"Donny Marshall got style, son. That bald headed bastard ain't half bad in my book."
- Calvin, Local Homeless Meth/Cocaine User

"Man, what the fuck! If Michael Jordan can't make it on the PGA tour, how the fuck is Donny Marshall gonna be a pro golfer? Shee-it. Donny Marshall, you ain't shit on course, and you ain't shit on the Mic compared to me, the FloMaStar. Recognize...!"
FloMaStar, Aspiring Rapper/ Janitorial Consultant









Can Donny Marshall make it as an announcer?

The Ghost of Johnny Most
Johnny Most's advice for DonnyMarshall.

"Hi there once again. This is Johnny Most, high above courtside in the ghost of the old Garden.

"Can Donny Marshall commit himself to become the future voice of the Boston Celtics? Does he have the grit? To me, Magic Johnson was a crybaby. The Pistons were God-damned thugs. I hated the bastards. And I let you know it.

"Donny Marshall has the style, he needs the teeth. Bite into something, get emotional! Dammit Donny, commit!"

Mr. Myagi's advice for Donny Marshall

"Donny-san, must talk. Walk on road, hmm? Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later get squish just like grape.

"Here, announcer same thing. Either you announcer do 'yes' or announcer do 'no.' You announcer do 'guess so,' just like grape.

"Understand? Now, ready?"








Is Donny Marshall the future Voice of the Boston Celtics? Will Tommy Heinsohn's Celtics TV commentator seat be succeeded by former UConn Basketball Star Donny Marshall?

Stu Betcha, Guest Columnist"Penalize NBA referees for their poor calls!"

By Stu Betcha, of Stu Betcha's Gambling Advice Forum

With millions of dollars in sports betting at stake in the 2011 NBA playoffs, poor officiating can be a life or death decision for guys like me. For shit's sake, refs, get it together! I gots strippers and weed money at stake here!

When you parlay the under with the Celts to beat the spread, bullshit fouls ruin your night. I'm already behind on rent, i don't need this!

It's bad enough we have to listen to Marv Albert verbally fellate Lebron James with each basket.

Watch out Miami Heat, Marv's been known to get a little bitey.

Don't piss your money away betting on sports! Do what smart businessmen bribe Indian tribes to do: make money through other people's stupid gambling addictions. Let Stu Betcha show you how to set up your own Gambling Advice Hotline.

Donny Marshall buys a new Golf Club

Not content with just upgrading a new driver or wedge like most golfers, in 2009 Donny Marshall and several associates purchased the Willimantic Country Club in North Windham, CT.

Renamed "The University Club", Donny's semi-private golf course is marketing gold. The UConn golf team plays home matches here, and the promise of seeing Ray Allen or Coach Calhoun teeing off will keep UConn alumni investing in Donny's future for a long time to come. Way to go Donny!"

Donny Marshall Golf Course Real Estate Scandal?

Donny Marshall and associates pay only $15,000 for land assessed at $1.4 million.
Source: Mansfield Today:

"According to records in the town clerk’s office, the purchase price for 184 and 185 Club Road was $15,000. … It is unclear why the purchase price is so low. … According to the assessor’s office, the net assessment on the 184 Club Road is $1,101,310, the net assessment for the 185 Club Road parcel is $313,830"

Donny Marshall seeks to become a Professional Golfer. Leaving broadcasting? Way to go Donny!
Donny Marshall, Please Succeed as a Pro Golfer!!!
As reported on The HuskeyBlog.com, originally appeared in The Day August 28, 2007

Celtics Broadcaster Donny Marshall intends to become a professional golfer when his days stumbling through Celtics color-commentary finally fizzle to an end.

Donny Marshall won his second Ahmad Rashad Celebrity Golf Classic in 2007 while partnered with fellow UConn alum and current Boston Celtic/Close Friend/Hairstyle Consultant Ray Allen.

When asked in jest about his chances of becoming a member of the PGA tour, Donny responded, "I'm going to wait until I'm 50 and then I'm really going to make a run for it."

"Sort of like with your broadcasting skills?" Ray Allen responded, chuckling.

“Actually, jokes aside, I really am going to make a run for it," Donny indicated. "...It will be fun.

In an effort to encourage Donny Marshall's career in Professional Golf, we ask our readers to kindly donate their best golfing tips to Donny EVERY TIME you see him in person. Remember, every little tip counts. Yours might be the one that finally pushes him away from the broadcast booth and into a final round PGA Championship run. Way To Go Donny!

LCD Dating Service - Why not ?

Donny Marshall ain't no fucking crystal ball.Donny Marshall calls game 7 of the 2009 Boston Celtics / Chicago Bulls playoff game a lock - at halftime.

And the Celtics go on to lose.

I honestly never expected there could possibly be a moment in this lifetime that I would wish Tim Fucking McCarver was available to fly in and broadcast Celtics games. Donny Marshall, please forever put away the crystal ball (or crystal meth) that inspired this brilliant prediction to declare Celtics victory at halftime. WHAT THE FUCK? The 2009 Celtics-Bulls playoff matchup was great precisely because it was so closely contested. Why would you try and jinx us by saying the Celtics were going to win at halftime? Please, Donny, leave the predictions to professional bullshitters like John Edwards and Glen Beck.